Tuesday, May 17, 2011

The Detox that Never Was

Ha. This weekend was a learning weekend to say the least.

On Friday I looked at Nick and said Hey Babe. Do you want to a detox with me? He then laughed, looked at me like I am crazy, and turned back to what he was doing. After I assured him that I was absolutely serious, he took interest in finding a detox that we could do together. After a few hours of research, we found one that was doable (or so we thought). It is called the Fruit Flush.
For the purposes of my story, I suppose I only need to describe to you the first day of the Fruit Flush. Every two hours, starting at 8 a.m., you have a protein drink. Then, at 6 p.m., you are allowed one salad with lots of raw veggies and an option of lean chicken.

I was determined to be hard core. Unfortunately, I woke up with deadly cramps, but decided to persevere anyway. The shakes were abysmal, to say the least, but we got through them together. 

There I was lying in bed, writhing in pain. At this point I wasn't sure if it was cramps or hunger pains that were making me so miserable, but I was sure that it sucked. Needless to say I did not move from my bed all day, because my delicate weak frame was much to tired to get up. (or at least that is what I told Nick so he would bring me the shakes).

We finally got to the salad portion of the day. And boy, let me tell you, I don't think I have ever been more excited for a salad in my entire life. It took every fiber of my being not to scarf the whole thing down. But unfortunately, it was not neverending pasta and breadsticks from Olive Garden, and I finally reached the empty plate. 

The next two hours went a little something like this.
Me: I am Hunnnnnggrrrryyyy
Nick: We need to stay strong. But so am I.

Nick: I need fooooodd
Me: So do I! Let's just give up.
Nick: Okay...NO.....okay....NO!

By 9 o'clock we were blissfully eating strawberry pancakes in my bedroom, watching a movie. Epic FAIL. We did make a resolution to be healthier from that day forward, but not to that extreme. 
Although we both felt like failures, with little to none will power, we did learn something about ourselves.

We learned that we want to get healthy, and in shape. (Hello gym 5 days a week, and fruit salad for lunch!)

We learned that we actually do want a lot more fruit and veggies in our diet.

We learned that we are not extreme health nuts, and we shouldn't pretend to be.

We learned that not everything is possible, even if we do it together.

But most importantly we learned how to laugh when life hands us fruit, and we said Can I get pancakes with that?


Anonymous said...

It's much easier to get healthy when you have someone to do it with, so you're lucky for that. I was going to do a juice detox where you drink nothing but pure fruit & veggie juice for 3 days...but I haven't gotten around to it. I don't think I have strong enough will power to not eat food either!


KY said...

Oooooooo this post made me giggle! I actually started the year off with a 3 day apple juice detox. I don't quite know how on earth I completed it, but I persevered through. Detoxes are fantastic for your heath...but I am still a firm believer of 6 small meals a day =) Good luck on your quest for health and happiness!

Anna said...

Hahaha this is SOO me and my fiance. Every week it's something new, and by the next day we've ordered a pizza or gone out for ice cream. Yikes. FAIL.

But anything with "flush" in the name sort of turns me off...

Amylou said...

oh man! I imagine that was so tough!
cute post. your last line made me giggle!

A Lost Feather said...

i just made the "i'm going to eat healthy" decision yesterday morning :) i think the most successful diets are the ones that are not crazy.. once i tried a ridiculous detox that required you to NOT EAT the first day. i basically ate a house the next day... no good. i've just been trying to make better choices and limit my calorie intake. i think i was eating wayyy more than my body needed. the working out part is my least favorite, but i pushed myself to do it yesterday and today.. hopefully that continues. good luck to you guys!

Ashley said...

hahahah YES i LOVE this!!!!!!! so funny im seriously laughing. Im So happy I just found your blog off of Lulapalooza! Youre adorable! off to go scoop out the rest :)

Shalyn said...

You are so funny. I don't think there is anyone who cant relate to this. The only difference between you and I is I wouldnt have even made it past breakfast;-)

Diana Smith said...

OH my gosh I have tried and started cleanses before and they are just toooo hard!! Seriously I am such a wimp! I would have done the same thing!

[SMASH] said...

I've never tried a cleanse or detox... not sure if I have the willpower for that. Good for you two for learning about yourselves and what you want to change.

Olivia.Dee said...

ummm all of that fruit looks AMAZING! makes me want to really venture out to the farmers markets around here.

I applaud your effort at the detox. you got further than me! i havent even THOUGHT about doing it. :]

Miss Caitlin S. said...

hah, yeah, I do not know how I would do with that diet!!! I need sensible balance and hey, sounds like you learned some things along the way!!

Julie said...

I think that last line is an excellent life motto!

Rach said...

Oh god I would die if I did a cleanse. It would most certainly result in me bingng on carbs and gaining more weight! I've had friends do cleanses and the didn't lose any weight or feel any healthier. Doesn't seem worth it to me! GO you for becoming healthy the right way :)

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